The Dirty Dozen: An Erotic Story Portals Listicle

... or, Holla @ Ya Boi for the Straight Dope on Story Sites!

I'm pretty sure the proverbial kids stopped saying "holla at yr boi" a while ago, but whatevs, as the kids surely also no longer say. The point is I come to you today, dear readers, bearing delicious listicles. Or a delicious listicle. I saw this listicle in my mind's eye and it was good. If it goes right, I will gratefully accept showers of praise, and if it goes horribly wrong I would like you all to know that It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time.

As part of my recent Pocket Rocket project, I found myself shopping around for various erotic story portals at which to promote some of the component stories. In the course of doing so I noticed a little something. There were lots of reviews of this kind of site from a reader's point of view, but finding out how it was to interact with them as an author was something else again. So I thought I would offer up the benefits of my experience.

Starting out with a disclaimer: I am not in the least little bit pretending my experience is comprehensive. Where possible I have tried to benefit from the insights of other authors and for as long as this here listicle is up, I will continue trying to do so. If there are story sites I've missed, I urge folks to hit me up here, on Twitter or by e-mail so that I can update. I have the sites in a rough ranking, but the whole idea of "ranking" something this complicated is mostly tongue-in-cheek, so don't take that aspect too terribly seriously.

This is a beginning, and as the Princess Irulan once said, a beginning is a very delicate time. I'll try to do it justice. And whatever I say here, to the proprietors of these sites in general and the non-profit / non-commercial sites in particular, I would just like to say that I know keeping these resources live and dealing with the fractious, opinionated communities they attract isn't easy. Bless you all for what you do.

Rocket To My Heart

The Pocket Rocket Freebies Have Expired! [UPDATE]

The complete Pocket Rockets Collection is going live on Amazon soon, which means the Pocket Rocket freebies are coming down. Nuku Vitani's "Cat-Scratch Fever" adventure is no longer live over on the venerable Storiesonline, but do continue to check out their content anyway. Here's what the story's promotional blurb had to say while it was up:

In the far-flung Edhae system, passenger shuttles ply the friendly spaceways between worlds and space stations. Staffed by a pair of comely stewardesses and the factory-issue Automatic Captain that supports them, Consolidated Flight ECS-727 seems mundane at first: but criminals have targeted someone aboard, and will stop at nothing to get what they want. It's up to catgirl Nuku Vitani to stop them, but torrid erotic perils await her if she hopes to prevail... much less come out with her job intact.

"Cat-Scratch Fever" showcases Nuku in her pre-Space Princess career as an interplanetary flight attendant of the sexiest sort, in an extended twenty thousand-word romp that includes bondage, femdom, toys, buttsecks, lesbian and bisexual play, devilish aphrodisiacs, naughty seductions, ruthless criminals and more. It will be included in the complete Pocket Rockets collection, coming soon!

Check out further Space Princess news under the break, including some hints at what's coming in Season Two. (Note: There's a gallery of NSFW Pics in this post.)

With Apologies to Nancy Drew

Another Pocket Rocket Launches into Spaaace!

I planned to have this one out in May, but life, as she so often does, had other plans. Never fear, the next Space Princess Pocket Rocket freebie is here for a limited time. The Secret of Buxton Beach is finally live on Smashwords*!

(* Update: The Pocket Rocket freebies have now expired, but you can check out an edited and updated form of this adventure in the forthcoming Pocket Rockets collection. Look for a new post about its release soon!)

One more freebie is yet to come, over on Stories Online and very soon -- I promise! -- so keep an eye out. In the meantime, let's have a little fireside chat about Nancy Drew, Naomi Bell, the Iron Chef, Star Trek, and some YouTube D&D fan-fiction courtesy of those magnificent bastards at Penny Arcade. A rich harvest indeed awaits you below the jump!

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Peep Show

... or, an Unusual Story About a Strange Hunger

I don't spend too much time talking on this blog about my stories on Literotica, partly because I'm often focused here on published work that I'm selling. That said, I do owe the site a shout-out or two, as putting up work there led directly to my current work with Uruk Press and to connections with many fine writers and readers of erotica. And I'd like to take this opportunity to talk about a new work I've posted there this week. Details after the jump.

Ready to Smash!

Cyrano Johnson comes to Smashwords, plus more smashing news & content!

Hello again, dear readers. I have some great Space Princess news for you this week: we have a new freebie live on Smashwords and more content forthcoming for that site very soon! I've also got a brand-new erotic fiction review for you, covering a pair of books by the dynamic duo of Brixton and Vera Atwood. Let's dig in under the jump!

The Hunter Gets Captured by the Game

All about The Devil's Breath, Players and The Honeytrap

So, I'm delighted to announce my first title with Uruk Press' Biggest Blade imprint. It's called The Honeytrap, and it's live on Amazon right now. Huzzah!

What can you expect? Well, this is contemporary erotic fiction, something different from the fantasy and SF fare I've published with the good people of Uruk Press thus far. Biggest Blade, for those who don't know, largely deals in hot wives, well-endowed alpha males and tales of delicious infidelity. The Honeytrap is an "interracial" take on this, ladling a big helping of graphic, steamy, and quite frankly outright filthy hardcore sex over the basic concept. After the jump, I'll talk a little bit more about what this means, and about the background to the book and the particular naughty wellsprings of inspiration from which it flows.

Once Upon a Pocket Rocket

The erotic prequel adventures of bikini girls in spaaace!

From Fire and Ice, the 1983 Ralph Bakshi / Frank Frazetta feature.

So, as you can see in my "Reviewing the Situation" post, the Space Princess Season One omnibus is here, collecting the first five novellas together with plenty of Special Features content (check that link for information on the draw we're holding for a free copy). You can get the full low-down from Uruk Press, but I'm here to talk specifically about a new type of Space Princess adventure which we're debuting as one of those Special Features.

It's called the Pocket Rocket: a series of short adventures half the size of a normal Space Princess episode. The first group of Pocket Rocket adventures are conceived as prequels that delve into the backstories of the heroines of the S.S. Ecstasy (though don't let the word "backstories" fool you, these stories are stand-alone and you don't have to read the main episodes to fully enjoy them). "Whom Palaces Delight," exclusive to the omnibus, is set six years before the "current" voyage of the Ecstasy and shows the encounter -- a frontier adventure featuring a hunt for ancient treasure, a ruined jungle temple and a band of evil, horny cultists -- that brings Titania Hollander into the Space Princess Entertainment fold. 

Other Pocket Rocket adventures will be previewed as limited-time freebies on a number of different sites. The first of these freebies, "The Masquerade," is now live*. Be sure to check it out, rate and comment, and check this post for updates on further Pocket Rocket freebies. Enjoy!

(* Update: The Pocket Rocket freebies have now expired, but you can check out the complete suite of adventure shorts in the forthcoming collection.)

Allow Me to Play You Out...

... with a couple of sultry club bangers whose lyrics just happen to involve pocket rockets. In fact this Kimberley Cole track contains almost no other words:

While this entertainingly dirty-cute Static Revenger track is a bit more lyrically diverse and every bit as much fun:

(Listen for it...)

Til next time, gentle readers! May your pocket rocket be fully fuelled and ready for launch.